Thursday, November 18, 2010

grace & forgiveness

I doing two days in one post . . . yesterday was a really, really tough and overwhelming day. I felt so heavy with a burden I discovered one of my players was carrying. Once I found out the truth I knew how to handle it and despite how crappy the situation I am grateful to hopefully help this person walk the path ahead. When I finally got to sit down with her I fought off all urges to show my disappointment and instead did my best to show grace. As I reflected on the situation that night I just couldn't help but thanking God for that amazing gift. How can we accept this free gift from God and not grant those around us the same thing? As I drove home so exhausted from the emotions of the day I heard this song on the radio by Tenth Avenue North . . .

"There's a girl in the corner with tear stains on her eyes. From the places she's wandered and the shame she can't hide. She says, 'How did I get here? I'm not who I once was. And I'm crippled by the fear that I've fallen too far to love.' But don't you know who you are, what's been done for you? Yeah don't you know who you are? You are more than the choices that you made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade . . . ."

It is so hard for me to put myself in her shoes, but this was so important for me to hear. We all do stupid stuff, but God never makes his grace conditional. No matter how hard it is or how much she might resist me, I will support her.

The last few days in my prayer journal have focused on forgiveness and I thought I knew the connection, but now I feel like God was softening my heart for this situation. Again, I just feel so grateful for the wonderful blessings of knowing God.

Lastly, I am grateful for my Karen Kingsbury books. I know some may think they are cheesy and unrealistic, but the ones I read this summer are so relevant to the situation I've now been thrown into. I'm grateful for the perspective I heard in them.

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