convention

I am just so grateful for this time at the national coaches convention. It is so nice to just be away first of all and it feels so refreshing to have my spirit for coaching renewed. Today I heard some great speakers . . .

- We started the day with the FCA breakfast. It was so great to hear the speaker share about a coach she wrote a book about while dealing with cancer. It was a great perspective to hear.
- I went to a session presented by the Fresno Pacific coach and so enjoyed his perspective on creating team culture. He also shared about a concept called restorative discipline and how we should really approached problems with players. I so needed to hear that perspective about an issue I am dealing with on my team.
- Terry Pettit is a hall of fame coach and a wonderful speaker. He presented a session on setting training with deliberate practice. I could've listened to him all day . . . such a great perspective on the game and an amazing speaker!
- Longtime coaches Russ Rose and Terry Lyschevich (sp?) did one of the presentations and their perspective was so unique. Plus Coach Rose is a hoot and kept us all laughing!
- Lastly, Steve Florio from IPFW gave a great presentation on how to get your players to think deeper and talk more effectively . . . right up my alley and he did a great job.

As a volleyball nerd, this is all obviously right up my alley. I've also enjoyed the conversations with colleagues and the ladies I'm staying with. It's been great hanging out with Brittany. We get each other very well and I appreciate her very much.

This is something I've always wanted to experience and I'm loving it. Very grateful for this opportunity!

destination

At this moment I am most grateful to have made it to my destination for the next few days . . . Kansas City. I began at the GR airport at 12 p.m. today and finally made it to my hotel around 9 p.m. central time. Geesh . . . but I got $15 of free food at the airport and $150 Frontier voucher so it was worth it to me. I'm excited to spend these days at the AVCA convention with some awesome ladies and learn a lot. Time for bed, though.

a need for speed

To be honest this weekend has been a rough one, yet glorious all at the same time. My roommate has been gone all weekend, which creates some extra loneliness in the house. I do like to just hang out at home, but that doesn't last forever because soon I start to feel like the single cat lady who nevers leaves the house. I am also realizing that the cats are all that I talk about in public . . . geesh maybe I am the single cat lady!!

I have enjoyed doing lots of Christmas things like watching movies, wrapping presents, and preparing my Christmas letter. I have decided not to do cookies, which is sad to me but is the best decision. I also enjoyed Laura's 30th birthday party this weekend. I love hanging out with friends who I rarely see, but when I do it's always a great time. They are all so fun and so genuine.

This morning my gratefulness was probably at its highest as I drove to church. I made a compilation of all my favorite Christmas songs and the cd worked in my car (which did not happen last year when I attempted this). And the speed limit is now 45 on most of Eastern . . . this is what I normally drive, but now I can drive without the fear of being pulled over. I do like to drive fast and as I was coming up with a title for this post I am realizing that a lot of my depression these days is a result of my need for speed in life. I have lost my contentment. I want my team to be great NOW, I want to find someone to share my life with NOW, and I want to be full-time in my job NOW! I have utter confidence that these things will happen (I know sometimes I am overly optimistic), but patience has escaped me. I feel like these things are happening all around me (mostly just the second one) and I honestly am having trouble being happy for others. I have always felt that I would be last in everything, but I just don't know how to survive these feelings and the beat downs from Satan. It is honestly SO HARD! I'm grateful for those who I have seen survive this and hope to share the same grace they have. I am grateful that God can rescue me from this as well . . . Thank you Lord for never giving up on us!

free books

I am so grateful to live in the city and have access to the public library. This was something that I never got to enjoy as a kid growing up in the sticks. I normally take full advantage of this, but during season it was hard to find time for pleasure reading. There have been a few books on my list, though, and I just kept checking the library site to see if they were available. Both of them have holds, but sometimes you can get lucky and today I did! I found Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks at the Madison Square library. I drove there only to find that the library didn't open till noon so I had to go back, but hopefully it will be well worth it. I finally put a hold on Unlocked by Karen Kingsbury so hopefully that one comes soon. I'm really looking forward to escaping in some good books!

small town america

This weekend was so busy! I drove around 500 miles in my poor car. However, for a majority of those hours I got to listen to one of the local radio stations that I grew up with. Over this weekend every year they have a telethon to benefit an organization called We Care. This organization helped over 3700 families in the community of Kokomo wh owere in need last year. It's a little cheesy, but listening to it made me so grateful to have grown up in an area where these fundraisers work and are so powerful. I felt very blessed to have gotten to listen to it this weekend and yes, I may have teared up a bit when they were reading off the final totals. Over just the auction and the donations from other events this year they raised over $225,000. They will get in at least $50,000 more over the next week. Very cool . . . although it seems to happen a lot at this time of year and not throughout all 12 months it is nice to see others give till it hurts!

sickness

I am such a baby when I get sick! This has been a tough week to be sick because I am very busy, but it has caused me to be grateful for some new things . . .

I'm grateful for tissues with lotion . . . I ran out and now my nose is raw!
I'm grateful for sprite and orange juice as they are the only things that taste good when I'm sick.
I'm thankful that What Not to Wear never gets old.
I'm thankful for Nyquil because it always does the job.
I'm thankful for email because I lost my voice and sound like a man over the phone.

Hopefully I start to feel better soon . . . lots of driving ahead this weekend.

pt clients

Every Monday morning I seem to dread my early wake-up call to go work at the Y for a couple hours. I'm down to only 4 clients a week and it seems like such a nusance most of the time, but once I get there I realize how grateful I am for the clients I have. They are all so sweet and are truly grateful for me. Once I'm there I wonder how I will ever be done working at the Y because I couldn't bear not seeing them on a weekly basis.

christmas is here

I hope to keep up my grateful journal through the holidays. It's been a rougher stretch, but remaining thankful in my everyday thoughts helps me to stay so much more positive. This will help a ton with all the shopping ahead because I tend to get annoyed.

I have been so thankful for my church the last few Sundays. I'm still not super connected personally there, but the messages and the worship are just amazing and touch me in such a personal way. Our pastor is also so genuine and I truly look forward to Sunday mornings.

I'm also very thankful for the Christmas season. I love decorating and am very thankful that the cats have not destroyed anything yet. I hope that the celebration of Jesus' birth is on my heart each and every day and that he is at the center of all celebrations.

It's a busy time of year for club volleyball and we decided to try a new venture with Dead Frog VBC and it has been absolutely wonderful. I feel like I'm really making some great new friends and am excited for fun times ahead!

catching up

The lack of an Internet connection at my mom's house kept me out of touch over the holiday. My new phone keeps me more connected as I travel, but I do love the break from email, etc. when I am home. It was a very emotional week with some high stress things going on with those around me. However, the time at home allowed me to reflect on all that I am thankful for . . .

~ My uncle Ron surprised us by coming to Thanksgiving! He moved to Colorado over the summer and we didn't think he would be there.

~ Traditions! In a time of change it is nice to go home and know all the things that you can count on. Two in particular are green bean casserole and apple crisp!

~ Faithful friends who joined me in some lofty prayers this week. It's so comforting to know I have people in my life who I can always count on.

not what I want

I got so frustrated earlier this fall when I heard one of my players say, "Why can't I just get what I want?!" I feel like screaming the exact same thing right now! I want my prayers to be answered so bad right now and it doesn't look hopeful so I'm having trouble being grateful today. I will try a list version today, though, because I am grateful for much, but just sad at the same time.

~I'm grateful for this sweet kitty bathing on my lap right now even though when I came home last night and I freaked out when I thought she was outside.

~I'm grateful for my flexible schedule and being able to work from home in my PJs.

~I'm grateful for the power of prayer and for friends who will drop everything to join me.

~I'm grateful for Kenyon who just warms my heart every time I see him.

~I'm grateful for spending time with family soon.

~I'm grateful God made me an optimistic hopeful person even though it's to a fault sometimes.

That's all for today . . . here's to hoping!

timing

The older I get the more I am able to be grateful for God's timing in my life. It is obvious that God has called me to my job for "such a time as this." Although it is overwhelming, it is a blessing to have this opportunity. Over the last few days I've been able to reflect on all that God has been doing the last few months to help prepare me for this situation. At the same time I've had some trouble thinking about all the things that God hasn't blessed me with that would be helpful in this situation. First and foremost is a husband that could support me just how I need through this situation, as well as help to provide a good example to my girls. God really newed my contentment this morning at church, though. As I learn in every situation like this, He has everything under control and His ways are good and perfect. Right now I'm trying to believe in the power of prayer and to be grateful for the Holy Spirit. That's God's gift to us to be able to commune with him. And the Holy Spirit is the only one who can truly help and comfort this young lady. I have nothing to do with it. Thank you Lord for all your perfect ways!

new mommas

I know I wrote about this a few days ago, but I am thankful for all of the experiences that my friends are going through as they learn about motherhood. Our great friend Rachel came for her first overnight visit with sweet Abigail (a.k.a. Crabby). She also brought tubs of bottles, pumps, clothes, blankets, etc. It's crazy how much stuff you need to take care of a baby! I'm just so thankful for all the blessings God has showered on Rachel. Being pregnant and having a baby was a very difficult process for her, but I just can't help but reflect on all she has learned since I've known her and how it's all coming together and helping her be a GREAT mom! She is so patient and relaxed and does such a great job with Abby. Abby was so early so she had to teach her a lot more that she didn't get time to learn in the womb. It does make me anxious for my turn, but Rachel is so gracious when we want to snuggle with her or don't want to change her diaper. I'm just so proud of her and had to share it!

I'm also thankful for our breakfast at Real Food. So close and always hits the spot!!

grace & forgiveness

I doing two days in one post . . . yesterday was a really, really tough and overwhelming day. I felt so heavy with a burden I discovered one of my players was carrying. Once I found out the truth I knew how to handle it and despite how crappy the situation I am grateful to hopefully help this person walk the path ahead. When I finally got to sit down with her I fought off all urges to show my disappointment and instead did my best to show grace. As I reflected on the situation that night I just couldn't help but thanking God for that amazing gift. How can we accept this free gift from God and not grant those around us the same thing? As I drove home so exhausted from the emotions of the day I heard this song on the radio by Tenth Avenue North . . .

"There's a girl in the corner with tear stains on her eyes. From the places she's wandered and the shame she can't hide. She says, 'How did I get here? I'm not who I once was. And I'm crippled by the fear that I've fallen too far to love.' But don't you know who you are, what's been done for you? Yeah don't you know who you are? You are more than the choices that you made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade . . . ."

It is so hard for me to put myself in her shoes, but this was so important for me to hear. We all do stupid stuff, but God never makes his grace conditional. No matter how hard it is or how much she might resist me, I will support her.

The last few days in my prayer journal have focused on forgiveness and I thought I knew the connection, but now I feel like God was softening my heart for this situation. Again, I just feel so grateful for the wonderful blessings of knowing God.

Lastly, I am grateful for my Karen Kingsbury books. I know some may think they are cheesy and unrealistic, but the ones I read this summer are so relevant to the situation I've now been thrown into. I'm grateful for the perspective I heard in them.

snuggling

You knew they would make it in a post at some point . . . today is the day I recognize my gratitude for our wonderful kitties. Phoebe & Pounce have been with us for about 8 months and we cannot remember how we survived without them. They are such playful kittens that provide lots of entertainment, but they can also curl up on your lap and provide so much comfort and love. I'm just so grateful that they are here each and every day to come home to. And at this very moment I love that Phoebe is right in front of the TV watching Ellen and Pounce is ready to jump on her. I am not grateful for all their hair, but thanks to these amazing sheets that grab it off the furniture so easily it's not so bad. Thank you Lord for blessing us with the bestest cats ever!!

ELLEN!

Today was an easy one. For the first time this fall I was home a little after 4 p.m. today and I got to watch Ellen! I absolutely love that show. I laugh and cry throughout the whole thing and although I don't agree with all of Ellen's life choices I think she is so genuine and so great for this world. As soon as I turned the TV on today I was laughing, which is so good for my soul! By the end I was crying when she gave this single mom of 5 a ticket to her 12 days of giveaways, a new car, and $10,000! I mean come on, who does that? I would if I could, but I can't so I watch Ellen who can. So that's what I'm grateful for today . . . that I got to watch Ellen!

encouragement

Today is a day I will give some shoutouts to some specific people I am so grateful for. The last few days pessimism has been ruling my heart, which makes me very sad. Thankfully God is always there to resotre what Satan has stolen from us! These people have been so faithful to encourage me throughout my first season of coaching. I'm sorry for not always accepting your kind words without my own disdain, but know I am eternally grateful!

Brittany and I started together at Taylor in 2005, both beginning our careers in the college coaching ranks. Boy did we learn a lot! Those three years I was there were exhausting and fulfilling all the same. Britt is still there taking TUVB to the National tournament for the 2nd straight year. She has been faithful to God's calling and God has given her such great passion and vision. Throughout all this she has been faithful to encourage me as I begin my first head coaching position. Her words are always so timely and I know I can always count on her. I'm so grateful for her mentorship, friendship, and being able to learn how to be a God-fearing wife and mother.

Joe (and Rox) took a chance on me when I was a junior in college when they asked me to join their staff at EK. They saw something special in me and have taught me so much about coaching. Over the last 8 years they have become my GR family and now even more so my friends. I know I can always call Joe when I need advice on something. The thing I am most grateful for is that he never misses an opportunity to encourage me in my work. I don't do things for praise, but he is always there to give it. I cherish each and every word and do not take them for granted.

My dear roommate Karen who has seen me at my worst and my best shared more joy for me when I got my new position than I think I had for myself. She is always willing to brag for me and truly loves watching me do things that I dearly love. We have been through much together and God has used each of us to learn important lesson. We are certainly not perfect, but we have learned that our friendship is certainly worth all the struggles. I'm excited to encourage her through the transition she is facing up ahead. I'm so thankful to have a friend like her!

My mom and I have been through almost 29 years together. We too have seen each other at our worst and our best. I am so grateful for how she has helped me to do everything I've ever dreamed and she has always been my biggest fan. I love her dearly and am so grateful for her.

I can't spend all day writing about all the wonderful people in my life because there are many. And I'm sitting in public and am already starting to tear up! These are just a few that I am thankful for!!

youth & youthfulness

Today was a lovely day and a few factors put together made me realize how absolutely grateful I am for the youth around me and for youthfulness. I'm in the stage of life where it seems like everyone around me is reproducing! Yes, I do get sad now and then that God has given me the gift of marriage and children yet, but most of the time I am able to just enjoy all the babies and kids around me. Kenyon Sagraves is one of the most amazing little boys ever! I have loved watching him grow up and become such a smart and curious boy. It does make me sad that I don't get to be around the kids in my own family very much, but I'm so grateful that Aaron & Al allow me to be so involved in Kenyon's life. There are so many more little ones around (and even more to come!) and I love watching their parents learn so much and feel so blessed.

I am also so grateful for youthfulness. The reason for this is because as of late I have really realized that I am not so youthful anymore. I actually feel like I'm rather jaded at times and am not so carefree as those younger than myself. I have gotten so caught up in being a successful person and living a successful life that I forget to just sit and listen to people sometimes. This really popped out to me while I was watching the movie "Letters to God." I was warned that I would cry through the whole thing and I did. I was really touched by the fearlessness of the little boy in the movie and the impact he had because of that. That was my biggest prayer going into my job at DU and I think I forgot about that toward the end. I did love hard, but I don't know that I gave everything I could to building quality relationships with my players. I wanted (and still do) to win so bad and be successful that I think I did lose focus at times.

So, in a nutshell, I'm grateful for young people and for the unique qualities they possess. I am also grateful that God can restore these qualities in us "old folk." :)

fall blessings

Fall is my absolute favorite season of the year! Last year fall was rather non-existent . . . we went right from summer to winter. This year has been so different. It is one of the most beautiful falls ever and today is probably the last day that it will reach 60 degrees, but it's November 12 so who can complain. Although I have been busy and have no desire to exercise, I have gotten to enjoy the nice weather. The last two days I spent time raking and doing final preps on the garden. It was so glorious to be outside yesterday and to be sweating! (I consider vigorous raking as my exercise!) I don't know if it was just for me, but the last few days have been exhausting physically & mentally and the weather gave me just the little boost that I needed. Thank you Lord for that special blessing!

pleasantly surprised

I was so bummed when we were riding the bus home on Tuesday when I realized I forgot to write a post that day. Then this morning I woke up and realized I forgot on Wednesday as well. I was pretty much in a fog all day yesterday after getting home at 2 a.m. after our season ended and having lots & lots of thoughts rolling around in my head all day. Then I got to sit in a conference coaches meeting for 2.5 hours and got home around 10:30 p.m. last night. I am not a night person and my schedule is forcing me to be one this week. I have to drive to the thumb tonight for a volleyball game and probably won't get home till midnight. Needless to say, I'll probably be sick by Tuesday just in time to figure out all of our club volleyball teams!

Okay, on to my gratefulness for the past two days and today. As I said above our season ended on Tuesday night with a rather disappointing loss. It would've been fine to handle, but I had a parent say some untimely things to me that really upset me. It really started to put a bitter taste in my mouth about our season, which was pretty good overall. When I got home last night I had a text from one of my players who just wanted to let me know that Sugarland won Duo of the Year on the CMAs because they knew I had a meeting and was missing the show. I know it seems silly, but it put such a smile on my face that she did that. Even though they don't always make great decisions and do silly things, I really do have great players on my team. I know the best of coaches don't get too attach, but I know I do. I just love hard. That's why I cry when things end. Despite that one parental incident, I am determined to be grateful for the good things and continue to trust in God and the passion for coaching that He has given me.

I'm also grateful for my family who came to our last match. My mom, grandma, grandparents, and aunt claudia were all there. They really just come to watch me, which can't be that exciting, but it is still nice to have them there especially if we lose. My mom even had a rockin' new haircut that I loved. I also love watching my grandma garner in the stands. She just cheers for everyone. She is the epitome of a good sportsman. She did not like that fans from the other team were taunting our players - that's for sure. I feel very blessed to have them all!

Now it's back to crazy life. Must deal with the headache I've had all night and start being somewhat productive.

not one job, but three

Monday is a very busy day for me, so it's good for me to do this today because I need some time of reflection on all that God has blessed me with. The reason I am busy, is a great reason alone to be grateful . . . the fact I have a job. Not only do I have one job, but I have three jobs that I like very much. No, they don't pay the best and they don't have the greatest hours, but I get to work with great people and I get to have an impact on all kinds of people. Whenever I get sick of working or my hours are crazy, I need to remind myself of all the people who are not fortunate to have a job. I am not in need and I get to do things I love . . . that is reason enough to be thankful on a stressful Monday.

singing

It's getting harder & harder to choose everyday and I'm afraid I'm going to forget something that I'm saving for another day. But today the winner is SINGING! If you know me at all you know that I love music and I love to sing at the top of my lungs despite my inability to always be in tune. Today at church was another morning that reminded me of why I love to sing, especially sing praises to my God. It's that time of the month when I'm especially emotional so I was tearing up even when the song was very happy and positive. One in particular, "I will rise," has such amazing lyrics about what it will be like when we get to Heaven and will rise in victory with our Lord. We get to rise on eagles wings, which is a picture I have always loved. We also sang one of the first worship songs I experienced at KCC . . . "You are Good." It has the lines, "You are good all the time, all the time you are good." Once a believer is able to really live by that truth it is so freeing. My first night of worship at KCC was so powerful and I finally started to allow myself to freely worship. I try not to ever hold myself back as I give all that I have to my God even if it's a little off key.

TV junky

Now that I have started this new goal I can't stop coming up with things I am thankful for. How can I just pick one everyday? Well, last night Karen & I enjoyed a rare Friday night relaxing at home together. I know it's lame, but I got so grateful as we sat and flipped through our now many channels. We now have the Hallmark channel, so we got to see Who's the Boss? What a classic, right?! We also got to watch House Hunters on HGTV! I could watch that channel all day! And to top it off . . . two of the best epidsodes of What Not to Wear ever! Mind you we still only pay $20 for our cable and we get all of that! Again, I know it's a little thing, but for a single gal it is fun to just cuddle up with the kitties and watch the good ole boob tube!

Even tonight I am flipping through finding tons of great movies . . . Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Hope Floats, Coyote Ugly, and Little Miss Sunshine. Now, I do own every single one of those movies, but there's something special about finding a great one on TV . . . like winning the jackpot out of all the crap out there.

Lastly, I got to watch Big Ten volleyball! Eeeeee . . . I'm so gidding. The night would be a perfect ten if I were cuddling with a guy, not a cat and if I wasn't so emotional that I cried watching Coyote Ugly. Oh well . . . a girl can only dream right?

don't cry over spilt . . . cranvod

My poor roomie had a bit of a rough day yesterday. So after volleyball she came home hoping to cuddle up and relax with a cranvod watching Thursday night TV. While she was doing some stretching, the unsuspecting cranvod was kicked over. Although I knew this would be devastating for Karen, so I laughed and tried to keep the situation light-hearted. It took her a little while, but she did eventually laugh and was able to shake off the incident. It just made me grateful to be able to laugh about something like that. No matter how careful someone tries to be, you just can't avoid every situation so why not laugh? Life is too short.

Although it delayed my sleep I did have a few more laughs before bed when I allowed Phoebe into my room. She definitely wanted to snuggle, but would not sit still. She was under the covers, tickling me . . . most of the time I would be annoyed, but I just thought it was so funny. Maybe when they are older they will actually sleep normally with us.

a hot meal

Some days are so crazy that I eat at the most often times. I do rarely miss a meal, but the choice I make is not always the best (thanks to clients who give me giant reese's cups that are stored in my desk). Today, however, I acknowledge my gratefulness for Campbell's Chunky soup in the "to go" container. It can be thrown into my purse in seconds as I run out the door, takes only 1 min 45 sec to heat up, and is a wonderful hot meal in the midst of turkey sandwiches. It's simple I know, but I'm grateful all the same. :)

a new beginning

I really enjoy blogging and have missed it for the last few months. I decided to start fresh with a new blog geared toward thankfulness. As we approach Thanksgiving a lot of people have taken on the challenge to post something they are grateful for each day on Facebook. I plan to do that on my blog for as long as I feel led. So here is my first day . . .

Some issues that I'm dealing with on my team have made me very grateful for my upbringing. My childhood was not perfect, but I was never without love, support, and guidance. It has helped me to make a lot of good decisions in my life and commit to things that I am very proud of. I can only hope that I can pass on those same morals and values in a very loving and positive way.

Here's to thankfulness . . . what are you thankful for?